---
title: "social media and our digital lives"
pubDate: "Apr 14 2026"
description: "on ai slop, notification-addiction, friendships, and digital hygiene"
draft: false
---

it's now been around one and a half years since [leaving social media](/blog/leaving_social_media_or_most_of_them), and to be honest it's been pretty good. i feel i've been more present in social situations and wonder more about how people in my close circle are doing (as i'm not seeing their Instagram posts anymore) by actually checking in once-in-a-while.

## sloppity slop and .. oh a new notification

one thing i noticed quickly, which caught me off-guard the first time, is how much of my surrounding networks talking-topics relate to what's currently trending online. just imagine hearing your friends talking or quoting stuff from italian brainrot, or similar stuff, without any context on it. i now understand a lot more about how my parents and grandparents must have felt when i was younger talking about all the stuff i saw online.

i can't believe how [the dead internet theory](https://thedeadinternettheory.com/) is [no longer a theory](https://www.adriankrebs.ch/blog/dead-internet/), like there is just so much slop being created with no soul or creativity behind it. it's everywhere you look nowadays from what i've seen, the youtube shorts/instagram reels/tiktoks that i've seen on my friends and familys feeds is bombarded with this stuff.

in my opinion, i was probably "addicted" - like [many](https://herman.bearblog.dev/quitting-social-media/) [others](https://onetwo.bearblog.dev/addict/) - in a way to my phone, with all the likes, the scrolling, and the unlimited content. i keep experiencing the scenario [ploum](https://ploum.net/2024-03-18-lost-focus.html) mentioned in their post around my acquaintances; _"why are we spending every minute awake checking our smartphone and replying to mundane chitchat, even if we are in the middle of the conversation with someone else?"_.

it's kinda insane how every single time there's a notification, the brain just craves for knowing what it it. i don't want to sound like i think i'm better than my friends or belittling people watching it, but i'm so glad i'm not a part of this mess at the same level i was before.

## friendships

like [belka](https://dioscuria.com/leaving-instagram-and-the-effects-on-friendships/), i also experienced that removing myself from these platforms actually did the opposite of what i originally wanted. i became more isolated from my friends, even though the intention i had was to connect more deeply with my peers.

this opened my eyes a bit and it resulted in me trying better to keep in touch with my friends. some are of course difficult to keep in touch with outside of the internet, due to living in different cities and such, but they're always just a call away. i still chat with friends (mostly on signal), and every time i'm in the same city as them i try my best to hang out.

i think that as a result of being more "offline", i care more deeply about my relationships. like [lech](https://blog.ambrzykowski.com/is-social-media-dead/) says; _"relationships, by their very nature, resist speed and efficiency. they require time, care, and presence."_. as i mentioned in the intro, i wonder more about how my friends life are going and what they're up to.

an example of what i've started incorporating into my life is sending postcards to friends and family, either while i'm traveling or a christmas card for the holidays. it gives me joy writing about how i'm doing and what i'm up to while out and about in these postcards. [can't we go back to being pen pals like the old times?](https://midnight.bearblog.dev/cant-we-go-back-to-being-pen-pals-like-the-old-times/) that would've been more exciting! i might even start incorporating [emails as a form of communication](https://pretendtypewriter.net/bring-back-emails-as-a-form-of-communication/) with friends.

[you don't need social media to stay in touch](https://blog.absurdpirate.com/i-dont-need-social-media-to-stay-in-touch/) with your network as i've learned. i liked [avas](https://blog.avas.space) title for one of her blog posts on a similar topic, [_"offline regains its value"_](https://blog.avas.space/real-life-value/).

it feels like i've [rediscovered the joy of slow, deliberate communication](https://midnight.bearblog.dev/rediscovering-the-joy-in-deliberate-communication/).

## digital hygiene

there's [an increasing worry about where all the data will end up](https://www.deloitte.com/us/en/insights/industry/telecommunications/connectivity-mobile-trends-survey/2023/data-privacy-and-security.html), all from peoples scrolling habits to where their regular jogging route is. not you? well ask yourself this - [_"are you surveilling yourself yet?"_](https://blog.avas.space/selfsurveillance/)

when i have a conversation around this topic, i can't stress enough about how peoples [digital hygiene](https://karpathy.bearblog.dev/digital-hygiene/) needs to be practiced better. there are many reasons for this, like:

1. [privacy is a value we can lose](https://blog.avas.space/privacy-values/)
2. you can lessen the mental overhead you currently have from your digital life, i.e. reduce your [social media dependency](https://blog.avas.space/social-media-dependency/) or lessen the digital overstimulation
3. you become more aware of your digital world, i.e. ensure that you don't have a screenshot of an unnecessary, expired busticket sitting stored in your cloud backups and likewise lol.

in my opinion, practicing good digital hygiene should become second nature to you, similarly to how washing your hands or brushing your teeth is. for those who struggle with it, ask someone for help. for those who knows this stuff, help out - think of it as your civic duty!

some people, like me with my ipod for example, even [decentralize their smartphones with single purpose devices](https://ambertherambler.bearblog.dev/decentralizing-my-smartphone-with-single-purpose-devices/). it removes the possibility of "just checking out another app".

## finishing note

there's an [overstated importance of connectivity](https://blog.avas.space/connectivity/) in the world as of now. the current form of social media is not social at all - they're advertisement-funded content mills with a recommendation engine similar to digital crack (paraphrased from [herman](https://herman.bearblog.dev/slow-social-media/)).

[_"the mental health crisis, especially among young people is staggering"_](https://ldstephens.net/posts/life-before-social-media/) due to these platforms, and we might want to move towards a more [notification-free life](https://imperfect.bearblog.dev/notification-free-life/).

our digital lives have become frictionless, with a constant dopamine-feed ready to serve you. might [offline be the new luxury?](https://blog.avas.space/offline-luxury/) maybe not, technology has brought amazing things - but social media today is not doing us any good in my opinion.

remember, [_"when people want you in their life, tech is no hindrance"_](https://blog.avas.space/more-pull/).

> ***ps:** a big thank you to my friends who still invites me whenever something has been planned on platforms I no longer use, like Facebook.*
